Published in the Western Standard, February 14, 2005, p. 22. (A slight ambiguity in the published version, as well as a few other problems, have been corrected below.)

Turning Bhutanese
by
Pierre Lemieux

 

The most crucial question of our time and, I would say, in the whole galaxy, is: what will be the first smoke-free society? Will the new prohibition come from the U.S.? Or will the Ontario or B.C. government stop following and take the leadership of the temperance movement? Will the Quebec state, which rules on a supposed "distinct society," keep on imitating with a vengeance all the tyrannical fads of the hated Anglo-Saxons? I have bad news for all these nice governments. The Kingdom of Bhutan recently announced a ban on all domestic sales of tobacco and a prohibition of smoking except in the privacy of one's home. "We had declared in the World Health Assembly," proudly commented the kingdom's health secretary, "that we would be the first country in the world to be smoke-free." "Yes, the United States has a rival," commented The Economist. Where is this idyllic Buddhist kingdom? "As big a map as you have got," asked the author of The Man Who Would Be King, "even if its all blank where Kafiristan is . . ." (This sentence is even more beautiful in the 1901 French translation: "Nous voulons votre plus grande carte, même sil y a un blanc à place du Karfiristan.") In fact, Bhutan lies east of Kiplings imaginary Kafiristan, on the other side of India, squeezed along the Chinese border in the Himalayas. Its territory is three per cent of the size of Quebec, and its population estimated at between 800,000 and 2,200,000. Life expectancy at birth is 54 years, and it is not because of smoking, as only one per cent of the Bhutanese smoke. The economy is based on subsistence farming. But the state has an official development program of "Gross National Happiness." The Bhutanese are very obedient. "People wont go against the order because they follow what the monarchy says," declared the editor of the country's only newspaper (a weekly), commenting on the smoking ban. The governments website (www.bhutan.gov.bt) greets the subjects with information about two licences: the driver's licence, which is the mother of all licences, and the trade licence. "Obtain a [sic] easy trade License from the Regional Trade & Industry Office," it says. Indeed, it looks easier than getting a gun licence in Canada. First, obtain and fill in a trade licence application form and an application for a police clearance certificate for trade licence from the Regional Trade and Industry Office. Then, get "locational clearance from Dzongkhag/municipal authorities." Now, attach a copy of your citizenship identity card and submit the completed form with attachments to RTIO. Upon approval, submit three copies of passport-sized photos, and pay the applicable registration and licence fees and cost of licence booklet. The CIAs World Factbook says, very diplomatically, "Detailed controls and uncertain policies in areas like industrial licensing, trade, labor, and finance continue to hamper foreign investment." The "Government Forms" web page lists, and makes available for download (15,000 Bhutanese use the Internet), four-dozen forms ranging from a request for a new telephone connection, to the form for "update of spouse details," and the "Medical Certificate Form for Driver/Conductor." On this last form, Question 4 inquires about the future proud holder of a drivers licence, "Does he/she show any evidence of being addicted to excessive use of alcohol, tobacco, or drugs?" Even before the recent prohibition, the Kingdom was already taking the anti-smoking jihad seriously. Whatever there is to sustain, the Kingdom is deep into sustainability. "The tourism industry in Bhutan," explains the government website, "is founded on the principle of sustainability." The CIA adds that “the government in its cautious expansion of the tourist sector encourages the visits of upscale, environmentally conscientious visitors." Other examples of Bhutanese enlightenment? A frequent mural symbol represents a big flying phallus, introduced by a popular Tantric master called the "Divine Madman." Each Bhutanese citizen must return every year to his village to obtain his ID card. It is true, though, that the kingdom abolished serfdom in 1956. Besides prohibiting smoking, the state imposes a compulsory dress code in so-called "public places." Which Canadian province will become the Kafiristan of the North?